So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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