i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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