the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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