sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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