obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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