Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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