I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
