is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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