you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I love having hate sex.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
