Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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