I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just found a bag of teeth...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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