You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
