My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
