Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
