i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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