Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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