i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
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You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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