My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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