I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
