Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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