so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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