don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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