okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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