Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
