the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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