After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
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This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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