the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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