i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
