I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
