Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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