The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize