i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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