remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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