I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
