my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
