literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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