i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took my balls.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize