i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
