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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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