This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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