we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
