I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
