Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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