My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
