"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
