I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
There r osticjed everywhere
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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