i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
