I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
