she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
