My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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