last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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