He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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