Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
