So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
A bitchslap is in order.
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