coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
