You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
