i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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