do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize