I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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