i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
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