Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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