In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
