and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
