I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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