The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
